White vs Human
by lifeisadream
Summary: White is the colour of death. Is it just a coincidence that he wears white all the time? Humans are a race far beneath youkai, never to be in the same league. Then was it a coincidence that she was human? Complete...obviously SesshKag


I don't own Inuyasha. This is a slightly revised version of what was up before…I had found a few more spelling errors and whatnot that kept me from sleeping until I fixed them. Doubtless, there are still quite a few more left. Alright, enjoy and review…and to those who already have though they probably won't see this, thank you so much. I love your reviews…and…I sort of have an idea about a sequel or something so I'm open to any and all ideas your willing to pitch forth. Whether I actually take you up on it, you'll see when and if I update. Love y'all!

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White vs. Human**

White.

White is the colour of death. Is it just a coincidence that he wears white all the time?

Somehow, I don't think so.

When I first met him, he was wearing white and he tried to kill me. The second time I met him, he still wore white and tried to kill me again. The third time however, was the first time that he didn't directly try to kill me, even though he continued to wear the white uniform, just the person that I thought I loved. An improvement of some sort, don't you think?

Then I met him for the fourth time, and this time, like all the other times I stood up against him, and defied him as usual. Somehow, though, his visit wasn't the same as usual. I talked to him, like really speaking without any threat in my voice or any saucy comebacks. What was unusual was that he didn't chide me for daring to speak directly to a demon such as him. In fact, this time, he smirked his mocking smirk, looked down at me in all my humanness, and saved the life of the man I thought I loved.

Then he went missing from my life for a good few weeks. I didn't miss him, and he didn't seem to have missed me.

It was while I was imprisoned by the Fire Cats that I saw him next. You could say, in a way, that I was sort of glad to see him this time. Odd, but true because in the end it was him who saved the day; not the man that I thought I loved.

Next time I saw him was the first time that I was truly scared of him. He had always posed his fair share of threat to my world and the people that I loved, you know, the usual trying to kill us and taking his father's sword. But this time, the anger that shone in his eyes made my knees feel weak and my stomach queasy. And the scariest part of it was that his anger wasn't even directed towards me or any of my friends. It was for our enemy. It was a huge shock to me to finally realize that I had never actually witnessed the full power that this one demon possessed, no matter what I'd thought before. Somehow or other, I ended up talking to him directly again. This time he even answered me back, mind you with his usual condescension. He even went as far as trusting the safety of his ward in my hands, a real shocker if nothing else.

Once more I saw him, over a petty squabble with his half-brother. It ended with me telling him what he wanted to know when the unusually sharp edge of his sword was pressed against the throat of the man I thought I loved. Nothing more was said or done by either of us. He left and I watched him leave. Odd how I suddenly felt uneasy.

After about a week or two, he did something that I would have never thought he'd do, for me or anybody else that he had previously tried to kill or who was human; he saved my life. No, I don't mean that he saved me through some indirect action of his, you know like accidentally slicing his sword through someone who was trying to kill me. No, he actually, literary, saved me from death's grip as I was being strangled. He killed the offender without even breaking a sweat, and suddenly I was glad that he was there even though he wasn't the man that I thought I loved. I was more than grateful. He, however, walked away, saying that he was simply disposing of something that was keeping him from his conversation. That was the first time I noticed how much I could hate watching someone walk away from me. That is only until I passed out and no longer had the privilege to continue thinking.

I didn't see him again until Mt. Hakurei, and even then I was too preoccupied to do more than barely acknowledge him. And the same went for him. I have to tell you though, the moonlight against his silver hair was a sight that could make my heart skip a beat just by the mere memory of it.

I was surprised when he seemed to have almost listened to what I said to him the next time we'd met. We were trying to help bring back a sea-otter and we found his body lying at his feet. He was aloof, he was uncaring, and he was unmoved by the desperation of the situation. He had turned his back to us again and was leaving when I finally summed enough of my courage to confront him, to ask him to help us. He didn't respond immediately and looked as though he would have continued on his way. But he didn't. He had stopped. I wasn't sure why but I knew that it wasn't entirely because of my request. It was then that he did the unthinkable. That's right the King of Ice, the Prince of Stoicism turned around, faced the dead body, pulled out his healing sword, and slashed. He didn't wait long enough to even be thanked.

I realized something then, not that day that he saved the otter, but later, during the long break between his 'visits'. I realized that I could depend on him, well not totally. It's not the right word. What I'm trying to say is that, it was then that I realized that I could no longer consider him an enemy. After all, what enemy fought the same evil as you did? What enemy talked to you, listened to you? What enemy would save the life of the man you thought you loved? What enemy would save _your_ life? I realized that I could almost see him as an ally, though he still wore white (what is it with him and that colour? White hair, white clothes, honestly, might as well have white everything). I mean, even my so called love had tried to kill me too when we first met (something that makes me wonder, why does every one try to kill me upon first meeting?). But now that I knew this, now that I'd realized this, I suddenly felt…what's the word for it…ah, yes, I felt vulnerable. I considered someone who thought of me as a worthless human (if not specifically enemy or worthless scum) a friend, an ally; who wouldn't have felt vulnerable?

We met again, but under extraordinary circumstances. Yet it was these circumstances that made me lose my sense of vulnerability. They showed me that I wasn't alone. They showed me that my 'new ally', a.k.a. my former enemy, was …

* * *

Human.

Humans are a race far beneath youkai, never to be in the same league. Then was it a coincidence that she was human?

Somehow, I do not believe so.

When I first came across her, she was stunning, intelligent and very much human and she defied me. She pulled out my father's sword, something neither me nor my half-witted half-brother could do. You could easily see why I had been intrigued. Yet a human defying me is unforgivable. She had no right to assume she had the dispensation to do so. I did what I deemed necessary. She escaped unscathed.

The second time I saw her, still as gorgeous and captivating as ever, she did something that no human had ever done before; she attacked me. And she succeeded. There is no need to say just how surprising that victory of hers, however small, was. I attacked, yet she remained alive. There was no way I could forget her.

In my third encounter with her and her group, I did not attack her.

It was the fourth time that I saw her that I began to suspect the hold that she had on me. After all, when she has the ability to make _me_ completely change my mind, make me save the life of my despised half-brother with a few simple words, I had good reason to be suspicious; who wouldn't be? I knew then that the little miko, despite her humanness, had somehow or other done the one thing that not even youkai have been able to do. She was human. She was intelligent. She was beautiful. Most of all, she was dangerous.

I had to make myself scarce; I could not allow a human to take over me. I was a youkai, a Taiyoukai no less. So I kept away from my half-brother and his group for a few weeks. Things were going great: Rin would bug Jaken; he would yell at her or say some other nonsense and then I would pummel the disgusting imp, and not once did I think of her. Like I said, things were going great. That is, until I saw her again.

To be honest, I had no real choice in the matter. I didn't know she'd be there until it was too late. I had just reached the accursed Fire Cats, ready to slice them all in half and be victorious like the previous time I had come across them, when I noticed her presence. I was highly disgruntled, to put it lightly. The silly miko had managed to creep her way back into my life, and no matter how well my defences on the outside were I was glad for it. She did it again; rescuing all the other humans that were to be sacrificed with her by keeping her cool and intellect while everyone else had yielded to panic. Damn human didn't even know what she was doing. I killed my enemy and did my best to walk away aloofly. She, however, went back to her little group of shard hunters, obliviously loving the dim-witted half-breed. Real annoying, really!

Anyhow, it was around then that Naraku, the other dim-witted half-breed, decided to make his biggest mistake ever. The hanyou actually tried to kill _me._ But that wasn't what bothered me. That bastard had tried to threaten me, using Rin to blackmail me, and actually thought he was clever enough to escape me. The bastard didn't know what he'd brought onto himself. But it's not my animosity for Naraku that I'm telling you about presently. That night I saw the miko again, and this time I learned something more about her; her compassion. I knew she was smart and beautiful, heck that was why I found her so bloody addictive. But it would never have occurred to me that she would not only try and save my ward, but even try and protect her attacker. She talked to me, trying to persuade me to let the boy live. What could I do but to do as she bid me to do? Like I said, the damn miko was becoming a great thorn in my backside.

I was still searching for Naraku when I saw her next; damn bastard sure knew how to hide when he wanted to. This time, almost like my old self, I used her compassion to get what I wanted. No need to say, my plan worked wonderfully.

I don't like humans, and I especially don't like humans who cling to life when they've already lost it. That's one reason why I could never figure out why my half-breed half-brother was such a fan of the dead priestess. The stupid clay-woman disgusted _me_ all the way to hell and back. If only _she_ had the same stench about her, then none of this would have happened. Back to the story, I hate humans and hate human zombies even more. So you could imagine my outrage when I smelled a zombie, with a lot of poison, somewhere near her. When I found her, I was shocked by the state she was in, although of course I never showed it. I knew her body was paralysed, and she looked as though she was about to pass out. A couple of her friends were lying in the hut with her, all unconscious. The zombie had his dirty hands about her delicate throat, trying to squeeze out the last of her breath. I didn't even hesitate. My hand was through its revolting body before it even knew what had happened to him. I knew she was surprised, even I was surprised. I wanted to heal her with my sword; she was too close to death. The hanyou came, and I left, pretending that I was simply having a conversation. It was actually quite funny how this little human who was almost dying could make me act totally out of character. It was then that I knew I was in too deep to be able to get back out.

It was a dangerous game and she had trapped me before I knew what was happening. And as my luck would have it, she was completely oblivious to what she had done. It was completely unjust, yet completely true. Blast the bloody human!

What would you do when you are crazy about someone but they seem to be oblivious to your presence? Most people would try their best to make that person realize how they feel. But I'm not most people. When she barely even acknowledged me at Mt. Hakurei I could do nothing more than trying to do the same to her. I was back in my element, acting cool, calm and vicious. Ah! How I had missed the feeling! But that's beside the point. I watched Naraku kill the disgusting clay-pot of a miko. She was busy trying to save the day. Naraku escaped, I walked away (why do I keep doing that?), and that was the end of that.

I missed her but had no time to spare for her. I had no time to even pretend I was trying to take back what was rightfully mine; I was too busy trying to track down that bloody hanyou (I swear to God, one of these days I will scalp the bastard alive). I didn't see her for a longer time than I would have preferred, but there was no helping it. When I did see her however, not much had changed. She still traveled with my half-brother (is he destined to have everything that I want?). She was still beautiful, intelligent, and loving. Still captivating. She was trying to save some random otter demon whose kid had come across her path. But she was too late; I could see that the moment the otter's body dragged itself towards me only to collapse at my feet. But I couldn't bring myself to care. I had seen her and that was enough. I wanted to walk away. But like I have previously mentioned, the miko had a hold on me.

She asked me to help, to use Tensaiga. If it was anyone else I would have slashed their throats open with Toukijin, and then brought them back to life only to kill them again. I stayed where I was. The kit fell at my feet, begging me to bring the otter back to life (like I honestly cared what he had to say). She came and knelt down beside him, drawing him away. She had the saddest look in her eyes; it made my heart stop. I dimly remember the half-breed saying something in the background. But she was all that filled my mind. I still have trouble believing it; I caved into her silent request just as Tensaiga pulsed at my hip. The bloody sword picked the worst times to try and tell me something, and it never told me anything directly. I didn't wait long enough to be addressed again. But I could feel her eyes on my back as I walked away. Damn bloody human!

I'm sure there's no need for me to explain why I felt so resentful towards her. It wasn't that I was in denial or anything. In fact, it was because I was _not_ in denial about my feelings (which weren't supposed to exist in the first place) towards her that I felt so indignant. The problem was that she was a human, a miko actually, and she affected me like no one else had ever done before. She was rare in my world and I could not stop thinking about her. But I knew that it was not the same for her. I was not rare to her nor did I affect her in any way near how she did me, a Taiyoukai. I felt vulnerable and unsure, something that had never happened before. But she was the drug and I was the addict. I could not help it.

When I met her next, the most unforgettable thing happened. I don't know how it happened, or why, all I know is that I was glad it did. I met her by an old well. She was sitting on the ledge, dressed in her odd clothes, looking oddly at peace with herself, and she was alone. For the first time since we first met, I was alone with her.

She was engrossed in a book, something that surprised me greatly. That's the thing about her, she could always surprise me; not many people can. So, naturally, I walked up to her (she hadn't sensed my presence yet), and stopped right in front of her. I saw her tense, turning dark questioning eyes onto me. I ignored the sudden rise in my heartbeat, and instead looked at the book she had been studying. It was a heavy looking book, with advanced calculations across the page, calculations so advanced that even I had not yet seen. I was surprised (yet again).

It seemed as though she were waiting for something, and I suddenly realized that I had been staring at her quite obviously without really meaning to. I moulded the look until it was a rather decent questioning stare. That night I talked to her without any interruptions and learnt many things about her that I would never have figured out in other instances.

She told me she was a student of physics and languages. She started out being tense and slightly afraid, but soon relaxed and was talking to me as though I was a member of their silly group. Her voice was soft and almost breathy, caressing my ears gently in the dark of the night. She told me of her hatred for Naraku and her love for her friends and family. When I asked her questions about her origins, however, her answers were obscure, less than satisfactory. This annoyed me; why would she want to hide something as fickle as that from me? Aside from my having tried to kill her and her friends, that is. I was curious and I wanted to know but acted as though I didn't particularly care. I changed the subject and instead questioned her about Inuyasha.

As it turned out I had been very close to the truth every time I taunted Inuyasha for loving a human. She told me more about the dead miko and how she had recently helped her back to the world of the living. Normally, this would have annoyed me, made me call her stupid and a typical human for her daftness. Who would bring back a rival? But somehow, I would have been disappointed if she hadn't. She said she was happy with her choice, that she knew that in the end it wasn't her that my half-brother would have chosen. She said she was fine with that.

I caught her once saying that 'from when she came from, people didn't marry at her age.' I wondered if it was a simple grammatical mistake, her saying 'when' instead of 'where', but somehow I doubted it. This left me more confused than ever.

It wasn't till after I had left her that I realized that this one girl had learned more about me in one night than most had in their lifetime. Without my realizing it, she had asked me questions which, most surprisingly, I had answered.

Odd thing was, I didn't mind.

* * *

…more curious in nature than I would have thought.

I was sitting by the bone-eater's well, studying some physics for an upcoming test. I didn't want to study in the village since there was no way that I could find the peace and quiet that I required to actually understand this stuff. I didn't even notice when he came. I was scared at first. It was almost midnight, there was no sign of the man that I now knew I didn't really love, no one else that could possibly help for that matter, and I was alone with a known cold-blooded killing demon, who I might mention was staring at me most avidly. Like I said, I was scared and had good reason to be.

But to my surprise, he didn't decapitate me on the spot or ask for Inuyasha then decapitate me. Instead, he crouched down beside me, leaning against the side of the well, and began talking to me. I soon couldn't help telling whatever it was that he wanted to know. I was entranced by the contrast of the beauty and grace he possessed and the cold callousness that I had come to expect from him. I almost even told him, about my time, but managed to keep myself in check at the last possible second. I was entranced, but not that much. As we talked, I kept having glances of all the other times that I had seen him. I soon learnt that there was a lot that I didn't know about the demon that sat before me. I also learnt that I wanted to know. So, naturally, I asked him my questions. But I knew him enough to know that he wouldn't probably just tell me what I wanted to know out of the goodness of his heart. I wasn't even sure if the guy had a heart. So instead of directly asking my questions, I wove them into my own answers. I don't think he even realized what I was doing. Then again, he might have just been humouring me; wouldn't put it past him.

When he left, it was almost one in the morning.

It wasn't long till I met him again. In the place between this world and the next, while we were searching for the last shard (although we'd already technically found it, we just had to deal with Naraku), he came back again. Not that his return had anything to do with me; he was after Naraku's blood and he was determined to have it. Anyway, he was back to his completely stoic self again. To tell you the truth, I was more than a bit disappointed when he didn't even flinch under Naraku's threat against us. I would have thought he'd at least cared enough about the little imp that travelled with him to try and protect us. If I were to be honest with myself, deep down, I would have wanted him to try and protect me. That was when I suspected it.

It might have been, possibly, maybe, the beginnings of a crush?

That can never be good.

I didn't say anything that time and once the fight was over with Naraku, I watched him walk away from me. Again. But this time I knew and felt just how much I would've rather have him stay, stay here with me.

I know it was silly of me to even think of the notion, but I couldn't help it anymore than Inuyasha could help plunging down into the earth every time I said the word 'sit'. Maybe it was because I no longer loved the man I had thought I loved. Maybe it was because I no longer had my eyes naively shut to what I didn't want to see. When I had brought Kikyo back, I had accepted that I was not the one that Inuyasha was going to devote himself to. I had spent days, weeks, months wanting him to love me the way I had thought I loved him. But even then I don't think I had truly wanted it, wanted Inuyasha's love. Lately, though he never told me so, I knew I had that, that and his devotion, and I knew what it felt like. Inuyasha had loved me, but whether he wanted to or not, in me he would always see pieces of Kikyo. That was one of the main reasons why I brought her back. I wanted to give them a second chance at it, without neither my, nor Naraku's interference.

But then that meant that I was left without the man that I had once wanted to love. Sango had Miroku, Miroku had Sango, and Inuyasha…well, now he had his chance. That left me with…no one. No one except the one person I was sure I had no chance with. The truth can at times be hard to decipher. But there was nothing to decipher about this one truth: I was human. He hated humans.

The next time we came face to face came about rather more randomly than normal. I had just come back from my home. I met him at the top of the well. I wondered and questioned him as to what he was doing in Inuyasha's forest. Surprisingly enough, I didn't get an answer. Surprise! Well, to be honest, I might have gotten an answer, only Inuyasha choose that moment to come fetch me. And of course, he either reverted back to or continued being his stoic self.

I didn't push the matter; I was afraid of another fight between the brothers. Inuyasha helped me out and we both waited to see what he was going to do. Somehow I was extra wary of him; after all, this was the thirteenth time I had come across him and thirteen is an unlucky number. Silly…I know, but whatever.

As fate would have it, he didn't do much. In fact, he did nothing but leave us perfectly in peace. Or at least he tried. Inuyasha intercepted him, wanting to know why he had suddenly turned up in his forest for no apparent reason. That wasn't a smart thing to do, and really, even I could have told him that. It took him only three blows to knock out the man I had once thought I loved. To put it lightly, I was just a tinsy bit nervous. Alright…I was more or less scared out of my mind. I was alone with him again, and he was in an unusually unpredictable mood. Whatever my feelings toward him may have been, it did not make him any less dangerous than he had been when I had first met him. But I was not, never have been, one to back down easily. I prepared myself for a fight.

I notched an arrow and aimed. He watched me at it, waited till I was finished, and then he, get this, smiled at me. It was not mocking, or in any way threatening. It was rueful. By the time I was over my shock, Inuyasha had regained consciousness and he was long gone.

The next time I saw him, it was during yet another battle against Naraku. It ended shortly after his arrival. When he walked away, I marked his direction and after we had set up camp, I pretended to go for a bath and left my friends. I must have been out of my mind, not that I doubt the matter, but I wanted to find him. Amazingly enough, I managed to find him.

He was surprised by my sudden appearance, though I'm sure he had smelled me approaching at least five minutes before my actual arrival. I could tell by the frozen look on his face and the way he just stared at me, almost as though he didn't know what to do. To be honest, I was surprised myself, but not enough to loose my nerve.

I watched him rise slowly to his feet in that magically bright moonlight of the night. I think that was when I finally knew. I knew that he was…

* * *

Breathtaking.

She was absolutely breathtaking. She was always full of surprises. I watched her stand in the cave's mouth, once more at my father's tomb site. It was hard to get the thought out of my mind, the image of her pulling out that sword, that fateful moment that was both the beginning and the end for me.

I fought Naraku, called his bluff, knowing she can protect herself, and watched as she dealt some of the most powerful attacks known to my enemy. I had already succumbed to what I knew I felt for her, but I had not known just how much one, seemingly insignificant human could do to fascinate me.

When the fight was over, I had to walk away, I had to and I had to do it as quickly as possible. For one, I didn't want to stay trapped within for eternity. I mean, who would. But I also had another reason. I did not want to reveal myself to her and I knew, I knew with my whole body that one direct look from her would be enough to undo my resolve. So I walked, and I walked away, but I walked away with uncertainty.

There were many things that I had yet to learn about her, despite all that she had shared that night by the well. Perhaps that was why I was still reluctant to give myself away, because I knew there were still many things about her that I did not know. Though, I am not sure if I will ever know all that there is to know about her, but I find that to be part of her lure.

I could remember everything I knew about her, everything that I had learned that night about her. And one subject remained an everlasting mystery: her origins. She looked similar to my half-brother's miko, though she acted very differently. Perhaps she was related to the miko. Of course, my miko acted too…strangely to be from a little village in Inuyasha's forest. I had come across her enough times to also know that she never wore a normal attire either. And then there was that book she had been studying, it could not possibly have been from anywhere around here. I was certain she had to be from a place so far away that not even demon had come across of.

It was like an intricate puzzle and I was the eager player. So, inevitably, I began searching her origins. I soon found out that the dead-miko had died before having any children, and even her sister had none. There were no cousins, or even second or third cousins. The two miko's could not have been related by blood, despite how much they may look alike. There was nothing, not even a hint about her type of clothing throughout my library, though I must have searched almost every scroll and book. I was without a lead. Except, that is, for her.

I was back at the well again, somehow knowing that the answer I searched for would come from there. That's where I met her again.

I had searched all around the well, smelled the air, the grass around, even the well itself, and only finding a hint of her scent, perhaps over three days old. Other than that, there was no sign of her, not even when I glanced inside the well or searched through the trees in the forest. It was while I had been contemplating the idea of going to the village that she appeared out of the most unlikely place that I could have thought of.

Without warning, I was suddenly aware of her scent, much stronger than it had been mere seconds ago, and it came from the well. That's where she appeared, preceded by a faint, pink light. I knew I was staring at her and I knew that she could see me doing it, but I could not help myself; it had been quite a while since I had seen her last. As fate would have it, the whelp chose that moment to come. I could smell him approaching and managed to goad my features back to their normal stance.

By the time my half brother got there, I was in no good mood (not that I can ever recall being in one). I knew I had just witnessed the answer to my questions, only I did not understand it, and she was not about to explain anything while my brother was there. I could have, no, I would have easily killed him, the element of surprise on my side. Only she was there and I knew I would be forever hated if the mutt was killed at my hands. To be neglected is one thing, but to be hated, especially by the one person that you can say you love, well, that's just a whole other problem.

I wanted to talk to her but she was back to fearing me. I could see it in her eyes, and I hated it with a passion that I had never known to exist within me. She drew her arrow and aimed it at me, and I knew I was back to being the enemy in her eyes. I knew it was time for me to leave her again. I hated it.

I despised Naraku quite as much as the next person, perhaps even more. But, interestingly enough, there were times that I found myself to be glad that we had yet to kill the bastard. It was during yet another battle with him that I saw her again. I watched her the whole time I was supposedly fighting Naraku. The only problem was that she barely spared me a glance. Apparently, once I was back in her book of foes, it was hard to get out of it. Too bad I hadn't just killed the mutt the other night seeing as how she despised me nonetheless.

Knowing this, you can understand that I was a little more than surprised to have _her_ come to _me_…alone I might add.

I sensed her leave her group shortly after our encounter with Naraku. I stayed by the river bank, not sure what I wanted to do. I was torn over whether I should go and find her on her own, only I did not want to come face to face with her fear or hatred. I was saved the trouble of making the choice when I sensed her coming toward me. I knew she was walking toward me by mistake; she probably just wanted to get to the river. How could she possibly know that I was there? Exactly.

But when she did reach me, she wasn't surprised to see me there. I neither saw nor sensed any fear in her. Perhaps a little hesitance, but nothing else. I could hardly speak, something I'm sure went unnoticed since I rarely talked anyway.

She spoke, at first in a small voice then more strongly. She told me she was grateful of my help no matter how unwillingly it was given. She told me that she had thought I had gone this way after Naraku's escape and had come.

I wanted to ask why. Really, I did. I just couldn't bring myself to form the words…any words for that matter.

I could see her hesitance win within her, and I knew she was about to leave. I could not, I simply could not let her go again so soon. I was the taiyoukai of the west, if I could not bring myself to speak, really, what sort of reputation was I building for myself?

So I spoke and questioned like I had that other night by the well. And like that night, she soon lapsed into an easy manner and began to answer me, and at times she even joked with me. I could tell she was having fun; there was a sparkle of mischief in her eyes that I had yet to have seen. And so I dared and I began to tease her. All that ran through my mind was the incredulity of her willingly, knowingly, coming to me.

When I questioned her about her home this time, she hesitated again. She answered, an answer that was probably the most unlikely, yet the most logical. I could understand why she had not answered me before, or why she wished to keep it a secret. And yet, another question was born in my mind: why was it that she had now told me?

There were many other things that she told me, like how she had broken the jewel of four souls and basically started this whole chase. The more she told, the more I wondered, and the more I began to hope. I could not possibly think she hated me, or feared me. The things she told me were such sensitive issues that I knew she would not have told anyone whom she did not trust, anyone who was less than the closest of friends. I wished then I knew what had brought on the change within her, and I still do.

* * *

…the man that I actually loved. I knew by the tumult of emotions in me as I stood there watching him, and he watching me. And I could no longer convince myself of anything but the truth, though I knew that I could never tell him how I felt. Maybe in another lifetime we could have put our past behind us and moved on. But at that moment I knew that was impossible; I knew that as long as Inuyasha lived, I could not bring myself to tell him for he would see it as a betrayal and so long as he remained my friend, I would never betray him.

When he spoke, I could do little but answer. But as the night wore on, I gained confidence in his interest, and I allowed myself to tell him all that he wanted to know. It was almost as though I was befriending him and soon we were both making jokes and teasing each other. I could hardly believe he could act in such an amiable manner but I was glad I was the one he was showing this side of himself to. I only wish that moment could have last forever, for I had been truly happy then.

And as fate would have it, I was to only see him one more time. I've always had my issues with fate, whether be it my destiny or not, but now I can easily say…

* * *

I have wondered and waited for centuries, for that was the second to last time that I saw her.

I was there while Naraku was killed and the woman that captivated and haunted me for over a year finally completed the jewel. I do not know how or even why it happened, and I do not think even Inuyasha knows. Once completed, the jewel disappeared, and along with it, so did the human who had defied me. The human that I had many times tried to kill, the same human whose life I had saved. The one that I had fallen for, but had thought her to love another. That's who she was, and never have I ever had the courage to even say her name out loud.

Time has passed since she left sengoku jidai. Most of her friends from that time, with the exception of the fox child, have died, as did mine. It's been nearly two years since I found her again in her own time. I witnessed the day that she fell into the well, I watched as she travelled back and forth, growing with each day that she spent in the past. Yet I never showed myself to her, knowing that if I went to her too early, I could change that night that she had come to me, that night that I first began to hope.

And now I wait, hoping, just hoping that the jewels took her to her own time, when I will be able to see her again, and this time tell her what I should have told her that night by the river. Tell her that she was the one human that I had known to ever surpass the youkai race. Tell her that I loved her.

* * *

…that I hate fate…I despise it. The jewel took me away without warning. It brought me back last week. Since then, I must have tried to get back through the well for over a hundred times. My body is sore from hitting the solid ground so many times, and my mind is tired with grief. I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. To either my friends or him. What I wouldn't give to be able to see any of them. I can't even hope that some of them could have survived till today for they would have found me by now. I wish I had told him how I felt. He wore white till the last day that I saw him. But in my time, white is the symbol of peace. Maybe things would have been different.

And now my mother is calling me. She wants me to go downstairs, saying an old friend of mine has come to pay a visit. What she doesn't know is that the only person I'd want to see right now lives 500 years in the past. I wish I could see him again. Then I would tell him what I had been too stupid to realise soon enough to tell him.

I push open the living room door, one thought on my mind: I love him.

_

* * *

But all thoughts are wiped from my mind as I see…_


End file.
